My Kid Punched Another Kid in the Nuts

I’m so proud.

Two days ago, we got a note from my son’s teacher that he was peeping under stalls in the bathroom.  Ew.

Then yesterday, the same kid punched another kid in the nuts at school.

This is one of my kids with expressive language disorder, so, although we chatted about it last night, I don’t have all the details yet.  One of the following two possible scenarios is likely:

  1. He teamed up with another second grader to fight off a fourth grade bully picking on one of their second grade friends, or
  2. He teamed up with the fourth grade bully against the helpless, defenseless second grader.

If 1 is the case, I’m going to credit him with time served (loss of all recesses for a day, a chat with the principal, and a letter of apology).  And I’ll give him a cookie in my head.  I can’t give him a real cookie because that would send the wrong message.  But I’d want to.

If 2 is the case, I’m going to pre-emptively call child protective services on myself so I don’t harm my own child while trying to teach him not to harm others.  (You know – like those parents who yell “we do not hit!” while spanking their children to teach them not to hit.  Super effective, that.)

ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
  1. […] That last one might have had certain extenuating circumstances, but listen up anyway, kids. Listen, because this is Important Information: Head-Butting, Forehead-Flicking, Nut-Punching and Arm-Biting are frowned-upon activities at school. Also, other places. Frowned-upon, children. As in, UNfavorable. Which I’m noting because that’s clearly not obvious to certain Woolsey Children. […]

  2. clap clap claparoo

  3. […] One time my kid punched another kid in the nuts. I can’t help but think we’re making […]

  4. […] mean, no one was peeing someplace they shouldn’t or punching anyone in the privates or anything. And when I saw the cheery fire in the lobby fireplace with the cozy seating area, […]

  5. […] heart sank when the call came.  My heart always sinks when those calls come.  I have my reasons. Me:  […]

  6. I can’t decide if your first sentence was my favorite or your last. You’re funny.

  7. If you’re going to punch someone, I say it definitely needs to be in the nuts. If you’re not serious about it, you shouldn’t punch them at all. If you are serious about it, you need to make your point quickly and efficiently. So well done, sir! (Even if it was scenario #2, he still gets kudos for picking the winning team…)

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