The Consequences of Having No Filter

I went to the coffee shop this morning and exchanged my usual banter with the usual baristas as we’ve done off and on for a few years now. We tell jokes. We make off-hand and slightly off-color comments. We laugh too loud because we think we’re funny and we don’t much care if we’re wrong.

This morning, though, after we finished our rowdy chatter, one of the guys asked me what kind of filter I have.

“What kind of filter do you have, anyway?” he said, which I thought was weird because he should know by now that the answer is PRACTICALLY NONE AT ALL. I mean, DUH.

So I said, “I’m really surprised you’d ask me that,” and “I thought we knew each other better than this,” and “I think I’ve done everything in my power to demonstrate my lack of filter, man” and “What did I say, anyway, that makes you ask this NOW? Like, I thought our convo this morning was downright TAME. Geez.”

Which is when he looked at me and started to laugh and said, “You just ordered ground coffee, Beth. I need to know how fine to grind it. What kind of filter does your coffee machine have?”


Mm hm.

Welcome to my world.

On the bright side, after all this time thinking I have no filter at all, it turns out I ACTUALLY DO! Yippee!

ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
  1. You just made my day with this! Now I can proudly report to my husband that I do, in fact, have a filter! It’s just located in the coffee machine…
    I love your blog, your honesty and your humour, thanks for everything you share.

  2. Coming out from hiding because I just laughed so loud! I need to stop reading your stuff at work. I love you, Beth, even though you don’t know me.

  3. hehehe. Yes. This.

  4. Haha! LoVe it!! That would totally be me! I would just never have the guts to put it out there publicly like you do! That’s why I love you and keep coming back!

  5. You make me laugh because I could totally see myself saying the same thing.

  6. hahaha! That’s something that would happen to me for sure.

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