On Momrades and Waving in the Dark: A Birthday Wish

It’s my birthday, friends.

I’m 42 today.


My family has responded by a) mocking me, and b) giving me cheese, which are my two main love languages, so I’m marking this birthday in the win column.

This is my favorite of all the cards from my kids:

It reads,

happy birthday
mom I love you
so much and the
things you you do
for us.

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And then it has drawings of all the things I do for them, along with me complaining about doing them, which is apparently how I do All the Things. While whining. Like a whining whiner who whines. Just to make sure I was interpreting my card, correctly, I asked my kid to demonstrate these things for me, so he schlumped his shoulders in defeat, fixed his face with a scowl and said, “UUUUuuuugghhhhh. THE THINGS I DO FOR THIS FAMILY.” So yep. Yep, I was. I was interpreting it pretty darn accurately.

You know what this means, right?


Not only that, but they know how I feel about All the Things. Deep in my heart. Because I ACTUALLY, LITERALLY FEEL LIKE THIS LADY when I pick up my family’s crap:

FullSizeRender (8)

Do you see her? DO you? She is bent in HALF, folks. She looks like she is going to BREAK. I feel like this EVERY DAY.

This card and its free Mommy mocking makes my heart happy.

It’s really all the birthday I need.

It’s really all the birthday I need, but I’m going to ask you for something anyway, momrades, and I think you’ll understand.

See, I’m not the only one who turned 42 this week.

Our momrade, Dominique, turned 42 this week, too.

Perfectly imperfect

I met Dom through this blog, and those of you who’ve been here a while, hanging out in this space, may remember her from her honorable mention entry in our Parenting and Imperfection writing contest last year and her story about the facade of a “perfect marriage,” why she walked away, and what it means to raise kids to embrace authenticity, too.

Headshot.pngWell, here’s the deal. On Saturday, September 19, Dominique was having some issues with her memory. By Wednesday, September 23, she was undergoing an all night brain surgery.

Four days, friends; four days is the time Dom, a single mama of two, had from suspecting something might be wrong to being diagnosed with Grade 4 Glioblastoma, an aggressive brain tumor, and now she’s in the fight of her life.

I don’t even know what to say about that, friends. I don’t understand a world where this happens, even as I’m grateful Dom lives in a place where she has access to healthcare and is surrounded by friends and family who undergo the fight with her. But I did think you’d want to know.

I did think you’d want to know so you can wave in the dark to Dominique with me. For my birthday. For hers. For mamaraderie and community and ComeUnity and because you’re our Village.

Other than cheese and mockery (obviously), I can’t imagine anything I’d like more for my birthday than for us to come together for our momrade in need. Would you join me in waving in the dark to Dominique? You can leave her a note in the comments below or, of course, make a small (or large) donation the GoFundMe site to help with her recovery expenses; we all know the compounded power of working together to share not just resources, but Love.

Sending that Love to each and every one of you, and waving in the dark with the belief that the dawn is coming,





P.S. If you do make a donation to Dom’s GoFundMe page, will you add in your note something along the lines of “waving” or “waving in the dark” or “praying for you, momrade” or something so we can see that you’re there from this Village? I would adore that.


ABOUT BETH WOOLSEY I'm a writer. And a mess. And mouthy, brave, and strong. I believe we all belong to each other. I believe in the long way 'round. And I believe, always, in grace in the grime and wonder in the wild of a life lived off course from what was, once, a perfectly good plan.
  1. We share a b-day 🙂 so awesome you took time on yours to share this story to help others in need (((hugs))) and waving !

  2. Praying for you, Dom. Blessings on both your birthdays. If you are a Htichhiker’s Guide fan, you kow that 42 is the answer to Life, The Universe, And Everything. I just turned 43, so let me tell you, 42 was awesome. Well, I survived and did’t kill anyone else, so I call that a win.

  3. Happy Birthday Beth! I hope to get just as awesome of a card when I see 42 next May. Whoop whoop!
    Waving from the dark, and not just to you but to Dom too. Prayers for the village of Momrades in this ComeUnity. You help us so much, we help each other, we are not alone. Thank you Beth. ♥

  4. Best Wishes to you both on your birthday! Dom – Prayers for healing, peace and patience – God’s blessings to you, your family and your medical team!

  5. Sending you love and strength from our Flapdoodle Family of 7 here in South Jersey. Lord hear our prayers!

  6. Waving & praying too.
    Happy birthday Beth, my 32nd was last week.
    Sending love from Iowa to you both.

  7. Waving and praying!!

  8. Waving in the dark and sending strength and courage and mamaraderie your way, Dom. You’ve got a worldwide Village pulling for you!

  9. Happy birthday Beth, from myself and my birthday boy, who turned 4 on Oct 13th! Hugs and waves in the dark for Dominique.

  10. Waving, praying, and sending birthday love to you and Dominique.

  11. Sending love and prayers and waves in the dark to both of you–but perhaps especially for Dominique, this time.

    Just remember, now that you are 42, you are now The Answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, so revel in your new status!

  12. Hi, it’s my 40th birthday today so we are almost twins!! I LURVE your blog and tell everyone about my favourite posts. So often, when things have been tough I have waved in the dark to my mommy friends and felt less alone. Have a wonderful day too, so much love, Kim xxxx

  13. Dear Dominique! This Coming year is a challenging one for You.We always toast to the new year at birthdays although we so not know what they habe ready for us. So here you are now, facing the struggle of your life. To start all over. To be born again. Happy, happy Birthday to you. May this coming year be a challenge that you will master. May this year be one to gain back your health, one that shows your family is with you and may this year be more light than dark.

  14. Waving in the dark. Happy Birthday, Beth! Many Happy Returns of the Day, Dom!

  15. We will pray for Dominique too. The week before her tumor was found my kids’ band teacher had the exact same diagnosis and surgery. She too is now in chemo and fighting for her life. So we will pray for both of these ladies and their children.

  16. Thinking of you, Dom, sending good vibes, praying. I hope it reaches you.

  17. Waving and praying for a fellow momrade xo

  18. Waving and praying.

  19. Praying as I wave! Happy birthday Beth and Dominique! May this be a year of victory over darkness.

  20. I love you, and I love this. Waving.

  21. Waving in the dark Dominique and sending prayers and strength to you!! You will be in my thoughts.

  22. Sending love to you Dom, and to you Beth. So much love. And hugs. And hope. Lots of hope.

  23. Happy Birthday Dominique!!!!! I’m really 5orry life handed you 5uch an awful birthday “gift”. 🙁 I hope life i5 giving you lot5 of chocolate and friend5 with good crying 5houlder5 and dinner-dropping off 5killz to compen5ate a bit for being a horrible gift giver. Life i5 definitely in the doghou5e right now and need5 to come up with better way5 of remembering your anniver5ary A5AP!

  24. Happy birthday Beth! And waving to you, Dominique, with prayers. Hang in there.

  25. Happy Birthday, Beth!

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