Quick updates, friends, on this, the first day of school 2018:
1. Got up early this morning! BEFORE my alarm went off. I AM ON TOP OF ALL THE THINGS. THIS IS MY NEW ROUTINE. I SHALL BE UP EARLY EVERY DAY THIS SCHOOL YEAR.
2. Fell back asleep.
3. Slept through my alarm.
4. Woke to the face of a child asking if I would, because this is the First Day and therefore a Special Circumstance, “do that thing where you at least look like you tried.”
5. HARMED NO ONE. I shall throw myself an awards ceremony later, as per usual.
6. Did that thing where I at least look like I tried — aka, mascara + pants.
7. Walked my babies into school ON TIME. Completed all the Parent Tasks. Lost my keys.
8. Searched the school. Saw my babies on the way. Said, “HI, BABIES! I LOVE YOU!” Except quiet, because there’s no need to embarrass them on the first day. “Hi, babies. I love you.” SO quiet. Like, zero decibels. “hi, babies. i love you.” I pretty much just mouthed the words.
9. Was told by the sweet munchkins I labored for FOUR DAYS to deliver to SHHHHHHHHHHH.
10. OK, fine. Whatever. Assured them I shall not proclaim from my mouth my love for them at school again.
11. Found my keys!
12. Stopped by the school counselor’s office — who’s also my brother and my babies’ uncle because it’s a Small Town, folks —and gently requested he make one teeny, tiny announcement over the loudspeaker to tell “CAI AND CAEL WOOLSEY” that “YOUR MOMMY LOVES YOU VERY MUCH.”
He won’t do it, of course, because he’s kind and that request is wholly inappropriate, so I shall follow up with the principal to let her know the counselor was unresponsive to my needs. I also swiped a stack of Parent/Counselor Comment Forms so I can keep him apprised of My Thoughts and Helpful Suggestions throughout the school year. That should keep me busy for a while.
In conclusion, the school year has begun, and it’s going to be the Best Year EVER.
Also, you can pray for my children and the school counselor.
Also-also, how are YOU? I need updates, please. What items have you lost lately? Are you wearing pants? Do you at least look like you tried? If not, let’s hang out.
Also-also-also, if you have any Helpful Suggestions for a middle school, I have some forms I need to complete. Just saying.
Love to you and waving, waving,