Know what the internets need? MORE HOW TO ARTICLES. Because knowing how to do stuff is always better than not knowing. Yes? Yes. Correct. Always.
So here’s a quick tip for y’all.
This is my kid, Abby:
Abby goes to university in Hawaii because Abby is the smartest person I know.
This is my kid’s human:
Chandler also goes to university in Hawaii ‘cause he’s no dummy, either.
Chandler plays soccer.
He’s the goalie.
Which means he grabs the balls. All the balls. He’s the ball grabber. It’s what he does.
Chandler came to the mainland with his team to play last week.
We went to his game to cheer him on.
So, friends. Here’s how to cheer on a goalie:
Yell, “GRAB THOSE BALLS. GRAB THOSE BALLS. GRAB. THOSE. BALLS.”
And on repeat.
You can yell it as an encouragement to grab the balls.
Or you can yell it as a celebration of the balls just grabbed.
It’s a versatile cheer is what I’m saying.
It goes over especially well when your team is playing on the home field of the opposing team. The opposing fans love it. They chuckle because everybody loves a good ball joke. Everybody. Except the guy who keeps turning around and shaking his head at you like you should be ashamed of yourself. Which forces you to yell it more than you originally planned and at higher volume, but that’s OK. Part of life is about flexibility. About learning to adjust plans on the fly. About knowing when to STEP. IT. UP.
Now you know.
I give and I give.
P.S. My daughter’s human grabs balls. Lots of balls. He grabs them hard. And fast. He’s a fierce, fast ball grabber. So I made him a bumper sticker.
It’s arriving in the mail this week.
I’m assuming he’ll be putting it in a prominent place so all his friends will see and know how dedicated he really is.