This is just a blog about cats now. It used to be a blog about mental illness, finding relief, questionable parenting, pooping my closet, foster dogs, torturing Greg, and waving to each other in the dark. But then I got a pregnant foster cat.
This is Quantum.
She is a very young kitty. Just a baby herself.
Our local shelter took her in, full of babies, along with her equally young sister, Leap.
Who is also full of babies.
And now here we are.
To truly understand how none of this is my fault, one must first understand the circumstances under which Jesus made me foster pregnant cats. In this essay, we will explore Gregory’s culpability via negligence and the redemptive movement of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Greg has worked from home for the entirety of the pandemic until Thursday when, fully vaccinated, he went into the office. So he wasn’t home when the shelter called to say they had pregnant kitties in need of foster care. And yes, technically I’ve emailed the shelter a few times to ask WHEN IS KITTEN SEASON and DO YOU NEED ANY FOSTERS? But how was I supposed to know they’d call when Gregory wasn’t here to consult? I mean, what’s a mommy to do, friends? MOMMIES HELP OTHER MOMMIES.
I said, “DO NOT WORRY, LOCAL SHELTER. I SHALL COME GET ONE RIGHT AWAY.” AND THIS IS HOW JESUS WORKS, friends. IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
Did I tell Greg? No. No, I did not. FOR THERE WAS NOT TIME. It was an EMERGENCY. (The shelter said it was not an emergency and I could come anytime, but I know how to read between the lines. I AM VERY GOOD AT SUBTLE COMMUNICATION.) I just made a tiny alteration to our online calendar which pings Gregory when there’s an update.
I wrote BETH’S VERY SPECIAL APPOINTMENT.
And then he called me on the telephone which was a very dramatic thing to do and said, “Beth? What is this Very Special Appointment?”
And I said, “Wut? Nothing. No time! Can’t talk!”
And then he said, “Is it for Mother’s Day?”
And I said, “YES. YES, IT IS FOR MOTHER’S DAY” because it is definitely about a mommy and her babies, so TRUE.
Then he said, “I thought you wanted breakfast in bed and then to clean up the kitchen we wrecked while making it, like usual.”
But I said, “No. Nope. I’M MIXING IT UP THIS YEAR. I want this other thing.” And he asked more questions, but the phone line cut out and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Then Greg texted.
And I reminded him IT WAS TOO LATE HE ALREADY SAID I COULD. So he texted me back. A defeatist yep. And then the telephone magically worked again, and I told him THERE IS A PREGNANT KITTY WHO NEEDS US. And he responded with enthusiasm and joy.
“Of course there is,” he said.
That’s how we got Quantum.
Who is a complete and total love bug.
BUT WHILE I WAS AT THE SHELTER, I asked—as any kind, caring person would—who was coming for Leap.
“Who is coming for Leap?” I asked.
And the nice shelter lady cried giant tears and said, “NO ONE. No one is coming for Leap. SHE WILL BE HERE ALL ALONE, BEWILDERED AND AFRAID WITHOUT HER SISTER, and they would really, really do better together. Also, did you know cats help raise each other’s babies??” Except she said all that minus the tears, and she pronounced it, “We’re still looking for a foster for her.”
So I casually responded, “fine i guess i’ll take her, too.” Except I pronounced it, “OH MY GOD, WE CANNOT SEPARATE SISTERS. THEY ARE ALL EACH OTHER HAS IN THE WHOLE WORLD. AND NO ONE—NO ONE—SHOULD HAVE TO RAISE BABIES ALONE. WE ALL NEED A VILLAGE.”
And that’s how we got Leap.
Who just wants to snuggle.
In conclusion, I regret nothing.
Now we’re all on Baby Kitty Watch.
And my office smells like cat litter.
Welcome to my new blog. It’s called Only Cats.
Waving in the dark,
P.S. Do not worry about Greg. As soon as I came home with the baby mommy kitties, he spent an hour laying on my office floor petting and scratching rumbling purr-engines and telling me what they each like best. Accordingly, I now know both like under-chin scratches, Leap likes gentle belly rubs, and Quantum is partial to a rapid scritch behind the ears. He is planning further kitty-petting experiments. Results pending. More soon.
P.P.S. This is a blog about Cats and Only Cats…but ALSO PLEASE BE SURE TO VOTE IN YOUR LOCAL ELECTIONS because OMG, folks, THE CHILDREN NEED US. And we ALL need compassionate, diverse representation with deep understanding of myriad perspectives. This is urgent. There’s a HUGE push in our community and others, backed by a nationwide campaign, to roll back anti-racism policies like the one our school board passed a year ago. This is real, it’s wrong, and it makes me desperately sad. And our students, especially our students of color, deserve SO MUCH MORE from us. We have to show up for them. That’s why, for Newberg School Board, I’m endorsing:
P.P.P.S. But this is a blog about Only Cats. Quantum and Leap, friends…