We Have a New Puppy But This Isn’t Really About That

I’ve been quiet for a couple weeks around here. We adopted a new baby dog, and I thought I’d just jot down the story for you the day after we brought her home. Instead, Giant Feelings swallowed me whole with their gaping maws, and it’s taken me this long to figure out where they came from and why telling you about a Tiny Puppy overwhelmed me completely. ...  read more

Save the Date Cards. Haphazard Lifestyle Advice: How to Wedding, Part 3

Next in our How to Wedding series: save the date cards.

Honestly? We considered skipping them. There’s a huge part of me that feels like the double-invitation trend (save the dates and then invitations later) is a waste of time, effort, and dollars. I mean, why not just send an invitation? One and done. Half the cost. Voila! 

In the end, though, Abby and Chandler chose save the date cards for the reason I imagine many do. While we’re fully ready to ignore any of the traditional wedding protocols that don’t make sense to us (like waiting until 6-8 weeks prior to the wedding to send invitations when we could send one months in advance, instead), we weren’t ready to settle on all the final wedding details that would appear in the invitation — ceremony time, reception time, etc. ...  read more

10 Things I Used to Think… What About You?

1. I used to think brindle colored dogs were ugly, and tortoise shell cats, too, like a coven of hyenas held a secret midnight seance and magicked bits of their coats onto domesticated animals to make them mottled and homely and less likely to be adored than other, more beguiling creatures, but then I realized I was the one busy assigning worth based on appearance which seems to me now to be both silly and reprehensible, and I wonder what else I’ve gotten wrong. ...  read more

The Ring! Haphazard Lifestyle Advice: How to Wedding, Part 2

Can we have a frank discussion about money, please? And the wise spending of it? And how to STOP and THINK about funds and goals and the best paths forward? And how to make decisions based on What Actually Works for Your Budget and Your Life instead of on Cultural Norms? 

Because I have some Words in that regard to BLESS YOU WITH today, friends. Some Haphazard Lifestyle Advice, Beth Woolsey style, with special thanks to my very own Abby and her very own Chandler, because they’re letting me tell you All the Things, and I’m grateful. ...  read more

Haphazard Lifestyle Advice: How to Wedding, Part 1

I’ve said for quite some time, when describing it to people who ask, that this blog space is like a lifestyle blog, except the opposite. You know? Like, when I think lifestyle blog, I think Martha Stewart or Goop or Chrissy Teigen (whom I ❤️ and with whom I am well pleased) . Someplace neat and tidy and pretty and delicious, right? I definitely do not think of a mentally ill mother of five who pooped her closet. Or who plays I Spy with the items found under her couch. Or who shows off the Ancient Horrifying Golem Stubs ™, ℠, ®, © that exist underneath her dental makeover.  ...  read more

I’ve Been Thinking About Kindness a Lot Lately. Really, I’d Say It’s All I Think About Anymore.

I’ve been thinking a lot about kindness lately. Really, I’d say it’s all I think about anymore. Kindness and strangers. Kindness and kids. Kindness and politics. Kindness and cages. Kindness and marriage. Kindness and sex. Kindness and time. Kindness and self. And kindness and how to push more into the universe like a brilliant shaft of light from my belly, Care Bear style.  ...  read more

Your Thoughts Requested: Democratic Presidential Candidates (Also Some Thoughts on Cash Ransoms that Have Zero to do with Anything Else. You’re welcome.)

Alrighty. I’ve learned two important things in the last two days, as follows:

1. I’ll never be able to pay a significant cash ransom should any of my people be kidnapped, so cross fingers that doesn’t happen.

and

2. I just turned I Have to Be Home in Time for the Democratic Debates years old. 

Regarding Thing #1 — free tip from me to you — do NOT try to do bookkeeping in your head. Or, if you DO try to do bookkeeping in your head, be better at remembering expenses than I am. 🙄 Here’s the sitch… I paid a big farm bill via check. And I was pretty sure I had enough dollars in the farm checking account to cover it. So I didn’t double check. And then, in a shock to me and to zero other people because everyone else seems to understand my brain better than I do, there were NOT enough dollars in the account to cover it. That’s because I left the dollars in a different account. And did you know if you write a check without enough dollars in your account that the bank WILL NOT COVER IT just out of the goodness and generosity of their hearts? IT’S TRUE, friends. THEY WILL NOT. And then, because you don’t want to be more of an asshole to the People You Were Supposed to Pay than you’ve already been by writing a bad check, you will try to pull out All the Monies in cash so you can hand them a wad of bills like a drug deal instead of another check they may or may not want to trust. ...  read more