Tricky Dick: Not a Story About Nixon

ID-10088587

When we were kids, we used to sit cross-legged at school and call it Indian Style. No one calls it that anymore for all the right reasons. Hooray for cultural sensitivity and change!

Now kids sit Crisscross at school. Except no one calls it just Crisscross, because ho hum, right? How boring. Now when you sit cross-legged, you have to call it Crisscross Applesauce. Frankly, I don’t know what applesauce has to do with anything, but there it is, an essential suffix. Woe betide the mama who thinks she’s tight enough with Crisscross to only use his first name. Those kindergartners, man, they will school you. It’s Crisscross Applesauce, Mom, they will say and then they will look at you like you are equal parts dumb as bricks and to be pitied. Kind of how I look at banana muffins that are missing chocolate chips. Like, it was sweet of you to try so hard, but this is incomplete.
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Sleeping. In Surround Sound.

I made you something the other night while I was busy not sleeping. I not-sleep a lot because my children regularly and expertly outmaneuver my Ambien prescription and my 50 pairs of earplugs. Frankly, I think Ambien and Earplugs should just admit defeat and quit embarrassing themselves, but they went to a Tony Robbins workshop one time and they insist they can achieve their personal dreams. I don’t have the heart to destroy them so we bumble along together, trying. ...  read more

The Show Must Go On

The show must go on, they say. And it did, all weekend, all over the country, despite Friday’s shooting in Connecticut, and Thursday’s fire here in our small town, and Tuesday’s shooting in Oregon, and a week that laid us flat on our backs. I felt emotionally bankrupt by Saturday, friends. No room left for Happy or Sad. Like someone accidentally tipped over my Grief Bucket and the Joy spilled out alongside it. ...  read more

Catching the Sun

Cael asked weeks and weeks ago.

“But Mom, did you ever find a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?”

And I answered him.

“No, Cael. I never did.”

I knew he meant the question literally, and he deserved an honest answer, so that’s what I gave him.

But I wasn’t happy with my response because I wanted to find the end of the rainbow and a pot of gold. Does that count? The desire to run down the rainbow and capture proof that magic exists? ...  read more

Preschool Graduation and True Mama North

Months. I planned months in advance for my oldest child’s preschool graduation. I sewed Abby a dress from a pattern that was on sale at Joann’s Fabrics – a blue and white French print dress with a satin ribbon tie and the kind of whirly, twirly skirt that makes little girls spin in the grass and makes their mamas wish they’d remembered to sew bloomers – and I made her baby sister a dress to match and her toddler brother a button-up shirt in coordinating fabric. ...  read more