An Essay on Being Supportive (and on Boobs)

You know how people post things on the World Wide Webs that are TOTALLY Too Much Information, and you’re all, “Oh MY GOSH, STOP,” and “JEEZ,” and “What ever happened to people having a SENSE OF DECORUM and NOT SHARING All the Things with strangers??”

Yeah, well; if you’re nodding your head in understanding right now, you should probably stop reading. Because I care about you, and it’s OK that we’re different from each other, and, also, I’m about to talk about boobs.  ...  read more

The Day I Pooped My Closet

 

Dear the Internets,

This is a true story.

This is my true story.

I lay down my dignity for you, because I love you very much.

Sincerely,
Beth

Once upon a time, I pooped my closet. 

I was pregnant.

With twins.

Approximately 100 years pregnant with twins, judging by my size, but really only 7 months or so, which made me roughly larger than a semi-truck and smaller than the Empire State building. Big, in other words, especially since I started the pregnancy “fluffy” according to a nurse who was kind and wonderful and didn’t call me chubby to my face for which I will always love her something fierce. ...  read more

I Went to the Wilderness, I Squat-Pottied in Idyllic Locations, I Didn’t Check the Internets for a Week, and Whovians Hijacked This Blog

IMG_0641APPARENTLY — *ahem* — there was a teeny, tiny, little hijacking of this blog whilst I was away, kayaking down the idyllic Green River for days and days, taking in stunning vistas, squat-pottying in a delightful, shared metal poop box called a groover which is not unlike a desert-powered slow cooker for collected feces, and blissfully not monitoring the nefarious blog coup underway.  ...  read more

My Wife Won’t Watch Doctor Who: PLEASE HELP

Greg here, while Beth is away this week.  I don’t think I’ll make the same mistake a made a few years ago.

I hadn’t planned to hijack Beth’s blog, no matter what she said at the end of her previous post, but, thanks to your comments, I’ve realized I need your help.

Beth writes about our family, openly, honestly, and transparently, and she writes about the importance of community and finding the Elusive Village. Now it’s my turn to tell the truth about what happens in our house and to ask for help from you, Beth’s Village. I think you can see that hijacking Beth’s blog is the only conscionable course of action. ...  read more

If You’re Really, REALLY Lucky & Your Wife Loves You Very, VERY Much, Someday She Might Do Something Like This for You

You know those iconic pics from your childhood that you just HATE and no one will ever let you live down?

Like, ever?

This is Greg’s, from high school, 25 years ago at Disneyland with his family.

ShortShorts4
Because Holy White Short Shorts, Batman.

ShortShorts3

And, also, you Sexy, Sexy Boy.

Now, Greg was hoping, of course, that someday I’d put that on the internets for everyone to see, but because I love him so much (so, SO much) — and because he missed those short shorts deep, deep down inside — I decided to make a grand gesture and demonstrate my love for Greg by buying him brand new (ish) white short shorts from Goodwill… and bringing them to Disneyland so he could recreate his photo, 25 years later. ...  read more

Love Is: An Ode to Our Marriage

When we were married 19 years ago, I knew about love. I did. And I wasn’t wrong because love is, in fact, gentle and love is kind. Love is a two-way street. And love is a choice. And love, it’s true, is what conquers against all odds. I knew. I did. And I wasn’t wrong. 

But I didn’t know that love, also, was made up of failure. And of bruises. And of falling down. And of getting up. Sometimes. Eventually. And of a thousand thousand tiny moments and little sighs and brief caresses and small hurts and exhaustion and healing and time.  ...  read more

Quick Poll re: Boobs

Last night’s conversation between Greg and me:

Greg: You put a picture of your boob on the internet.

Me: Well, sort of. It doesn’t really look like a boob and it’s for mammogram awareness, so it doesn’t count as, like, putting a picture of my boob on the internet

Greg: Except that you put a picture of your boob on the internet. ...  read more