I haven’t showered since Monday. Just thought you’d want to know so you can feel completely awesome about all you’ve accomplished this week. Any amount of personal grooming puts you ahead of me. It’s like my special present to you. No need to send a thank you note. You’re welcome, friend.
I have 26 chigger bites on my legs. They itch like a mother. Like the mother of a mother. I asked around to see if any of my friends have a vat of acid I can borrow to peel the flesh from my bones as that sounds preferable to the continuous itch, but they’re all being selfish vat-of-acid hoarders and not sharing. I might need new friends. In the meantime, I’m alternating between 4 types of anti-itch creams, scratching deep rivulets in my legs, and throwing back shots of Benadryl which makes me crabby. My family likes me best when I’m crabby, though, so that’s working out well. ...