Announcing: ReLent! It’s like Lent, except after Easter is over.

Today is April 7th. Two days after Easter. So it’s about time I got around to participating in Lent.

I mean, sure; Lent is the 40 days before Easter. And yes; that means it’s already over. But I don’t think that’s a very good reason for not participating, do you? Especially because Lent is a good idea. I like Lent. And I seriously meant to do Lent this year. I did. I meant to participate the heck out of Lent. But Lent showed up on time like it always does, making those of us who are tardy for the party look procrastinate-y instead of fashionably late. In other words, ugh. ...  read more

There’s Such a Thing as Being TOO Efficient

There’s such a thing as being TOO efficient which I just discovered, um, experientially.

Look; I know that’s a hard sell, because TOO efficient? How can efficiency be bad? Like, EVER? And, trust me, I know the demands on our time and the number of things we have to get done — the dishes, the laundry, the jobs; the poopy bottoms, the owie kisses, the fights to break up; the lunches, the dinners, the incessant snacks; the snuggles, the sweat, the stories; not to mention the email boxes, the grocery shopping, the tiny tasks that are death by a thousand paper cuts, and the various demands to be a good — or, OK, passable for those of us setting a more realistic bar — wife, daughter, friend, employee, mama and more.  ...  read more

Why We Have So Many Kids

It finally happened. My kids asked why we have so many of them. 

“Why did you and Dad have so many kids, Mom?” they asked, because five kids is a lot of kids, and it only took them, like, eight years to notice.

Now let me just say, I’ve promised my kids for years they can ask me anything, and I’ll tell them the truth, no matter how embarrassing or detailed or distasteful it is, which works MAGIC with sex ed, of course, because after just one reeeeeally thorough sex answer including words like Mom and Dad and secrete and thrust and “as often as possible” and “yes, usually while you’re home, otherwise we’d never get to,” and “no, we’re not always going to ‘at least wait for you to be away for a sleepover’ but thank you for the suggestion,” they stop asking me about sex and start asking their friends on the playground again which is the way God intended us to get our information.  ...  read more

A Dog Named Bullsh*t

Once upon a time, my daughter was two.

Now that she’s 16, she looks like this:

photo 1 (69)

But when she was 2, she looked like this:

standing grin

And when she looked like that, with chubby cheeks and overalls, wispy hair and a funny run, she couldn’t talk.

I mean, she tried to talk, and she had all the usual words like “mama” and “birdie,” “look” and “MINE,” but she had a hard time with bigger words.  ...  read more

Drowning in Dropped Balls

We stayed at my cousin Jen’s house for four nights last week. Jen’s now down a plate, a bowl and a butter dish. I think two of the pieces of china were from her wedding set. They smashed rather fantastically on her hard wood floors. Only one was during a fight over whipped cream, though, so there’s that. We offered to replace them but Jen said, “No problem. Things break. You’re more important.” ...  read more

A Season for Everything

I’ve been a little off the grid lately, for which I’d apologize except that apologizing for attempting to manage a life that’s full-to-overflowing seems a little silly and a little like I think you wouldn’t understand. Like I think you’re not this busy. Like I think you’re not trying to hold things together, too. And I’m not opposed to being silly, but I think we’re past that last part, right? Apologizing for doing the best we can? Or for doing our mediocre, which sometimes is the best we can? Right. So let’s skip that part, shall we? Excellent. Moving on. ...  read more